I wake at 6.45 and wait to hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs, followed by a kettle boiling and coffee being scooped into a cafeteria. The sun is shining across the room everything seems good. Outside i can hear a Pheasant, outside i can hear movement as the Village comes slowly into life. I have recently been having odd dreams where i think i can fly and my ears are like wings, I glide above the Sussex Downs and sail upon streams of clear air, below I can see my new home. I have a nice room in my new residence. On the walls of my room are pictures of family all framed up on the wall below the clock and the nice vases’s on a wooden shelf. In the bookcase Cookery books. I really fancy another walk today now that Spring is here, and some more biscuits please. Patiently I wait. I sit looking as calm as I can with my legs crossed on my blanket. At the door through the window I see her coming towards me with a huge morning smile that starts my day, my everyday and with great joy. I leap up and stick my tong all over her cheeks as I bolt through the door of my cage onto my lead and into the cold frosty garden, a pee and a poo a look up into the trees where the birds are squawking and flapping around. Back in the house it’s up on the sofa for more licks and cuddles while the TV is switched on. Monkey World The Dog Whisperer or Sky News. Niall Paterson is a very good anchor. After a few nips and a chew on a slipper I doze off. Footsteps on the stairs, it’s him this time, more licks and cuddles more bites on a slipper. When the church bells ring 8’o Clock I know it’s time for my breakfast, or as he calls it, room service. Yum. He fusses over me and then I’m back up on the sofa, I konk out for another nap, the snug where I sleep has become head office.

When I first moved into the house I managed to shit in one of his slippers I was very proud of my feat, the other slippers around the house are now fair game and get a good ripping each day. I love tugging on the sheepskin insides. I’m towed out into the garden on my long lead to pee and poo every hour but sometimes I just piss on the kitchen floor, it causes all sorts of chaos. Mops, paper towels and harsh harsh words. Some days we walk into the park or around the cricket pitch which I love, Sid who also lives in the house comes too but not on a lead. He’s a tub and likes a good shit on the boundary. He spins around before squatting, very odd. They think he’s a Jack Russell but he looks more like the village idiot. We leap and play together and then it’s nap time 3 on the sofa. Sometimes I lay across him or her with my massive paws on their legs. Tickles are fun I get lots of them as I’m so cute, with my long belly and adorable ears. I love it. 12 bells and it’s lunch time, more of the same but I’m happy and lick my lips. Out in the garden I explore again this time with Sid, we wrestle over a stick, I like a bit of rough and tumble but I’m always boss, I’m so young and cute after all. More naps followed by insane tickles and then 5 bells ringing. Diner. A nap then more gardening followed by my evening push for the front room, normally out of bounds. I race around the chairs putting fear into them both that I might pee or worse poo on the Wool carpet, it’s happened and then there is chaos. The big tele is on I push cushions on the floor and stretch out on the posh sofa. They watch some A&E program or documentary until it’s time for last pees and poo’s out in the garden, cold and dark. I march back into the house and head for my bed. A hot water bottle under my blanket and a few toys, lights out. What a day! They both love me I can tell, tickles on tap 3 meals a day and treats too, but only if I’m good.

Sid sleeps under the stairs and is much like a teenager, which is good because the house has two teenagers knocking about with him, up late bed late not doing much around the house. Sid never pees in the house, a result. Two of us pissing would be murder. He is angry about me being here as I get all the cuddles and love, he gets some attention but not enough. Betty the cat and him don’t get on, I think she’s ok and her food smells rather nice. She lives in a bowl in the greenhouse. There are chickens in the garden but not enough of a meal on either of them, they seem to just keep themselves to themselves. Its a nice house and I think I have landed on my paws, all four of them. He will miss me so much when he goes away on tour, i can tell, there will be pictures of me around his bunk on the bus, I can see that coming. The day is on repeat as everyone is at home, the real test will come when I get left home alone and they all go out, me and Sid will howl with laughter.

He has a room at the end of the garden as seen in this picture, I have been in it and the smell is very engaging, its strong and inviting but I don’t get much time in there with him, yet. He does things in there on a screen with other people who write songs and play songs, seems like a nice place to be in the chamber of musical delights. Lots of pictures on the walls but none of me, yet. At night he creeps over there to write lyrics and emails and im sure they are all about me. He comes back in time for a cuddle and make up my bed, he boils the kettle for the hot water bottle and bolts the cage,I look up to him one last time and he says goodnight, by this time he can clock off, job done. I roll back and off I go into the land of wooded paths and rabbits, bowls of fresh meat and slippers to shit in and flying dreams. As a Grand Basset goes I think I’m one of the very best, I’m cute and naughty, I’m very smart and will sit for a treat. In all I think they are both very very lucky to have me in their lives.

Words I hear and respond too. Breakfast. Room Service. Lunch. Dinner. Treats. Wee’s and sometimes Poo’s. Tickles. Good girl. No. A new one is walks. Get down. Juno, not really sure about the name they have given me so i only respond when I feel like it. Up. Bed. Stick. He throws them and I fetch them, if I can be bothered. Sometimes Sid steals them from me but I always manage to nick them back from him. They taste good as well. I’m sure I will learn more words as Spring falls into Summer and I get to hang out more in the nice garden. Although I have very large ears it doesn’t mean i hear all these words, I pick and i chose what I hear. They must be barking mad to have gone for a puppy as adorable as me.