13 years ago
Leaving home is always hard for me, i normally cry a little and feel waves of nostalgia and fear. A few years ago i started to dream aloud about finding the next room in my life, the room where i might settle again and find home. A place i have really only had a few times in my life. Once in Greenwich and again in Peasmarsh. Since then i have been drifting from here to there and the insecurity has mounted and set seed over the years leaving me tired and mostly drifting. On board ship i met up with the new team, Geoff Martyn Amy Stud and John Bentley, old timers Chris Sheehan Kate Harwood and Simon Hanson make up our songwriters crew. We had drinks at sail away and watched Southampton slip from view, then it was dinner and then it was my room for unpacking and a bit of thinking. The room shakes, i forgot about that, it shakes like im sleeping on the engine of a Luton van. But a nice one. Sea conditions slight. My cabin, same as last time. The ship, full to the brim. New York seven days away. 3,120 miles. And im so tired yet i don’t want to go to sleep, i need to but i want to write and stay in this moment of surrender. God knows this has been coming for such a long long time. My daughter Grace has gone to South America today, she looked a little scared, i do love her she is such a doing being as well as a human being, such a great thing to be. She will be gone for six weeks. I pray for her safe journey. She will be looked after. And now as i look back from the car and wave, i see the smile that engulfed me and made me feel warm again. Its ok, this time, its really ok to be loved. Embrace it fat face.