Being sober is a blessing thats true, it beats hands down the life i had before. Maintaining the space is a lifetimes work, thankfully as they say, one day at a time. Today im 20 years in the sober nursery, its a good place for me to be, the benefits far out way the darkness […]
Being sober is a blessing thats true, it beats hands down the life i had before. Maintaining the space is a lifetimes work, thankfully as they say, one day at a time. Today im 20 years in the sober nursery, its a good place for me to be, the benefits far out way the darkness that became me. Darkness still provides me with plenty of cover, its still the crow it ever was. Today though things are bright and beautiful, Louise is home, the children are home for me too, and slowly once again playing music is home for me. Its the connection and the commitment i always struggled with but today its nothing but part of my life. I relish the love i have. I respect the music i play. I love the children i have. I feel commitment to myself because i have found home. There have been stages in the last 20 years that have scared me, i lost control of myself many times, but with meetings and constant sharing i find i can recalibrate each day by being in the centre not the outside. This is risk taking for me, today though i feel more like risk taking than ever, these days don’t come back. Meetings are there for me to fall into if i need them, i once went every day every week, then once a month then less and less, but its Oak to know they are there for me. I have people i talk to who care for me and i nestle in their wisdom and their words. Its Denver today and im trying to head to a meeting, its so hot outside and no cabs. Louise is in London being very brave and wonderful, i wish i was there to embrace this day with her. Being sober is a wonderful thing, but it does not buy you happiness or a clear head, the work is constant, repair is always optional, the cones are always invariably out on my road less travelled. The show was early, we were on stage at 6.30. It was a hot one again playing outdoors in the heavy heat. Glenn very kindly told the audience that i was 20 years sober today, he is so kind to reach out to me and it makes my show. Pizza and back to the hotel, no bus for me tonight and no fireworks, no 4th of July is complete now without reflection and prayer. Thank you.