Two weeks today, its hotting up, but not the weather. My breakfast today was in the Ram, i forgot how much i like baked beans. Made good around the house and hunted for easter eggs around Lewes, but no luck. Lou and children came home and instantly the house was alight with doing and being, playing and feeding. Screens and passers by. I went up the road to sit with the Vicar for an hour, we talked about commitment and we talked about feelings, the first time i came to Firle i sat in his study and we talked, he rolled a cigarette and slowly our words met in mid air, we shared loneliness on the trapeze of the hour, letting go seemed to be the hardest thing on earth. Peter is calm and respectful of feelings, he asked me some searching questions, i felt his words, they hung around my shoulders like a well worn cardigan. I was at home. Today we talked and we listened to each other like two men meeting on well worn track, there in the forrest of our life our words embraced many different sunsets. With two weeks to go there is so much to arrange to to hope for, all will be revealed in the sunrise of tomorrow. The clocks. I came back to number 18 and fell asleep on the sofa, its uncomfortable grey texture tries desperately to hide me in some stoney dream, a place of past, but not mine. The mirror ball reflects each image in my head as i sleep in the half sound of family. All too soon its here, a man of 94 told Peter that since he was 70 years old it seemed like 5 minutes had past by. Today four astronauts flew to the space station, it normally would take six weeks, today six hours. In time things have changed, mathematics and trajectory are calculated woven into a plan and zap, here. There and passing. Two weeks today.