I had no idea that solo touring could be such a work out, four days standing still after a storm to get a ferry, and finally on day five its anchors away. Sadly I have missed three shows and will come back in May to recover that ground. Tonight I would have been in Cavan, […]
I had no idea that solo touring could be such a work out, four days standing still after a storm to get a ferry, and finally on day five its anchors away. Sadly I have missed three shows and will come back in May to recover that ground. Tonight I would have been in Cavan, Niall was celebrating his birthday with this show as the jelly to his cake. I feel so bad, the ferry this morning, Sunday, was delayed and over booked. So here I am now on the afternoon ferry also 5 hours delayed. At home Mrs D is sifting through 10,000 flyers and posters to send out to various venues, she seems lightly stressed. Surely it can’t be this hard for us both, its the big wake up. Sting and Trudie don’t have to pack boxes with posters and wait in Holyhead for four days to see your ship not come in. But its true, I’m not Sting. My car is packed with books for sale, my guitar on the back seat, its an adventure because thats what I do. I can not look back or forward even all I can do is be in this now which surrounds me like thick hessian.
The tour starts tomorrow, I’m really looking forward to telling my story and playing a few songs. I hope people come out to see me. I need to seek some support on how best to tour like this, its clearly a hefty elephant to push up a mountain, but with some hard work it could end up being just enough for me. The summer is full of good things, and thats the wolf at the door, luckily he only has three legs. I have such nice things in my life and playing live is one of them, but its not always been this plain sailing. My boots are hard to fill. Its hard to believe that out on the Irish Sea things look calm, when only a few days before ships were being tossed all over the sky. Like all things it passes, after all storms bridges mend and the sky becomes clear again. I pray to God that in my life there will always be some blue sky to rest on, some sunshine to raise the family and to keep all the wolfs from the various doors so that all sanity can remain in its place. I feel older today, a little larger too because when I’m bored, I eat. Pie, fish and chips x2 the eggs for breakfasts and a Sunday roast, not to mention the very poor chicken curry in the hotel last night. I should have known. I can only dream of salad days with sunshine dressing, some lobster tail on the side with a clear glass filled with Cranberry and ice. I was only ever meant to be me, not Sting not Ed, not Jools not Glenn, just me. The complicated map that has been given me in life is often followed blindly and without much care, but I can get from A to B on animal instinct and luck. Here today, in my cabin, in my lovely car, on tour, with the most wonderful wife back home in the mail room posting posters and flyers I do feel extremely grateful.
I do have loyalty club figures to boast about on Stenna line, I do have sobriety, I do have some clean underpants for the week, it can’t be so bad, and it isn’t, I just cant seem to find the right balance between being that bloke who was once in Squeeze, to that bloke who is here in cabin 9444 on the 9th deck. My solo tour of the UK is coming up soon too and the figures are not great, compared to some, but I guess its the name, its the fact I have not been here before with any substance and maybe its because I’m not the one who sings all the songs people love. The balance will come, I have to just push hard to be myself. The snakes and ladders of life take me back down a few rungs, for now at least its the big climb up, to where I wont know until I get there, wherever there is.
Please come to my shows and please love the songs I write in other peoples cabins. I will be nice to you and sign stuff, I will split my last scone with you. I have a phone in my cabin, I have no idea who I can call but it looks like I’m connected to the World outside my journey. If I could I would call you all and personally invite you to my shows. I see ships. I see condensation on the windows, I can feel the atmosphere of people going on with life. There is the balance, as I see it, the truth of love is in the being and the giving not in the misunderstanding of chocolate egos. Thats not for me now that this is my journey.
I made it to Cavan, it was 10.30pm, it had been four nearly five days of being on the road with two shows lost in storm damage. I feel so sorry to have let people down. In the bar, two people who had come up to see the show, they understood how frustrating it must be, we shook hands and I felt connected to the now. Its bed time now, its time to reflect with the back of my eyelids firmly closed as I project my obvious disappointment onto the screen. The sailing was calm, the day has been full, the night will be like sleeping on a large soft sponge cake.